edition love - fifteen, august 2007. word of the month: jengaing

INTERNET USERS SUING MEDIA OUTLETS
(NO, WE CHECKED, IT’S THE RIGHT WAY AROUND)

It seems that internet forum members are continuing to show journalists the way, breaking big news stories, and they now want a share of the legitimate media’s income.

“Who needs to buy magazines? Everything’s on the internet ages before it’s in the media,” one internet user, appelonamat, surmised.

“I reckon they just spend all day on forums like this one getting all their news.

“They put it straight onto the page and make money off of our good work.

“So I propose that all of their income - their income, not their profit - be channelled back into internet forums. Without internet forums, they’d be without a job.”

Unsurprisingly, the stance has gained support from some other internet forum users.

“Y do npapers and magz have 2 cum and copy us? Were 2gd 4 them, thats y. lol,” said one.

“I recon that’s the best idear I’ve ever heared,” added Prom Racer.

“Maybe we shuld share the money with wiki pedia, cos they told us about Loic Duval at WPS, which must be true if it’s on there,” suggested another.

“Teh internetz rulz so much betta. Even tho some cites r pretty ordinary, everythin on its tru, you can take it two teh bank.”

 
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Episode 14 - Michael was on a desperate hunt to find Clarissa. He discharged himself from The OP hospital and started his search. Perhaps if he knew she only had three months to live he’d have awoken from the coma earlier.

It would be a tough effort to find Clarissa. She was drowning her sorrows in New Opexico, strung out on drugs and alcohol and hanging out with shady guest character Julian.

Michael enlisted Bryce to help in his search and they drove across the country listening to pop-rock and talking in circles. Back at The OP, a big race was approaching, however, and if they missed it their careers would be over.

With their search efforts getting nowhere, Michael received a phone call with no-one on the other end of the line. Unbeknown to Michael, it was Clarissa, trying to reach back out to her old life.

Knowing their careers were on the line, Michael instructed Bryce to return to The OP and race in the big race while he continued to search. Begrudgingly, Bryce returned, knowing that Michael wouldn’t be on the grid and that his career was all-but over.

At the track, he saw Autumn in the distance. Things were still very uncool between them after his double-dipping was discovered and they didn’t speak for the whole weekend, however they both knew that the door to a relationship was still open.

In the meantime, Michael had received another four mystery calls. He had now clicked that it was Clarissa and intensified his search efforts.

 
And now, let's take a look back through time at some of the classic moments in motorsport.









Wasn't that swell?
   

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BUTTON AND BARRICHELLO
RE-SIGN FOR HONDA

HondaF1 announced recently that they’ve re-signed incumbent duo Jenson Button and Rubens Barrichello for the 2008 season. It’s possibly for 2009 as well, but our researcher is on holidays.

The move quashes rampantly persistent rumours from well-informed sources that Captain Planet would feature in the team’s driver line-up next year.

“Hiring Captain Planet was something I believe Honda head office was pushing for, as the next phase of our whole ‘Earth’ thing,” the source said.

“Their rationale was that Captain Planet, well, he’s our hero, gonna take pollution down to zero.”

Reports also suggest the team was due to sign the respected group of Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi and Ma-ti to cover the key portfolios of Earth, Fire, Wind, Water and Heart respectively.

“After we build the car, he’s our powers magnified, and he's fighting on the planet’s side,” Wheeler revealed.

“Saving our planet is the thing to do, looting and polluting is not the way.”

 
<content removed because it never existed>
 
 

KARTING JIBES LEAD TO VIOLENCE

Police were called to a suburban go-kart track recently, as a near riot broke out between two karting patrons.

Among a group of 15 on a work function to Kartz For Uz, seedless-watermelon pickers Wilbur Jelackson and Peter Trondoy first came to blows at approximately 3:12.11pm after continued references from Trondoy about the quality of Jelackson’s karting.

“Wilbur was always last of our group,” said one member of the group, declined to give their name, but left their Steve Keanders nametag on.

“He always said it was the kart, but we were all always driving different karts and he was still last.

“Peter started ribbing him about it, and it started off as a bit of a friendly laugh.

“Then it got serious, Wilbur asked him to stop, then Peter said that even if he did stop he’d still be moving faster then Wilbur on track.”

At that stage, it is alleged Jelackson confronted Trondoy and a physical altercation ensued.

“It got out of hand very quickly, and for a while it was, like, on,” the man who didn’t want to be known as Keanders said.

“Alcohol was definitely a factor. Earlier in the day, Wilbur knocked over a keg. Fortunately it was empty and no-one was hurt, but he had somehow driven through the bar.

“Countless punches were thrown, and several eyes were lost, but boys will be boys, I suppose.

“Just as well the police arrived when they did, though.”

Charges are expected to be laid in the coming days against the group, for wasting police resources.

 
 

community service announcement

   


Phonsy Mullan.

Former Konica Series V8 Supercar driver.


 

 

 

KIWI JOINS REBORN EX-AUSSIE-OWNED KIWI TEAM
NOW RUN BY AUSSIE-BASED KIWIS

Rising Kiwi star Shane van Gisbergen will make his V8 Supercar debut at Oran Park later this month, driving for the reborn Team Kiwi.

Owned by Australian-born Kiwi David John, the Kiwi-funded team will now be run by Australian-based Kiwis Stone Brothers Racing.

 

van Gisbergen's V8 Supercar stats thus far

A press release circulated to both Australian and Kiwi media recently confirmed the much-vaunted move, after a tough couple of months for Team Kiwi, in which their Pizza Hut vouchers expired.

The Kiwi will drive an Australian-built Falcon for the Kiwi squad, after putting himself on the map with storming performances in Kiwi kountry where he came to the attention of the Kiwi-born Stone brothers.

He will drive an SBR Falcon built by SBR's predominantly Australian crew in the remainder of the Australian series’ rounds, sporting Team Kiwi’s Kiwi colours.

Unless he elects to turn his back on motorsport and open a bakery in the next couple of weeks, van Gisbergen will kick off his Supercar career at the Sydney circuit on August 17-19.

 

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